We all try and stay positive but who really gets your goat??
  1. Male commercial directors in their forties with fancy haircuts who are all "hip" and wearing desert boots and swearing
    some exceptions, not many
  2. Anybody who starts a sentence with "To play devil's advocate..." Since when does Lucifer need an advocate? The Prince of Darkness has been running the underworld for a while now. Does he really need you to stick up for him, Greg?
    Suggested by @AshleyCFord
  3. The Swedish woman a table over who told me and @zoe that I was being way too loud at Shun Lee Cafe, one of the loudest restaurants I can think of.
    Suggested by @tothemaxxx
  4. Girls who order everything "for the table" and eat 1 steamed asparagus spear.
    Suggested by @daniellenuss
  5. People who think that European always = sophisticated and American always = trashy
    This is a bid for sophistication that makes the speaker look uncultured, and even worse, it's just thinly veiled classism. 😡
    Suggested by @ariannastern
  6. People who read one semi-reputable article on a topic and then front as an expert on it. E.g. "I mean, I read an article on that just last week and like nowadays if you're not going to a top 5 law school it's really not worth going at all." (Real quote from self-proclaimed law school expert)
    Suggested by @miranda
  7. Women who only laugh at jokes made by men
    Bonus points if l, when a woman makes a joke they like, they just stare at her and say "That's so funny. That's actually hilarious".
    Suggested by @LizWatson
  8. Most teenagers.
    Suggested by @cbollinger
  9. Male professors in their 40s who are self-styled eccentrics/contrarians, with a carefully cultivated cult following among their students & a studied, totally bullshit air of not giving a fuck which mostly involves contemptuously dismissing the work of his peers & the students who aren't in his cult.
    ALWAYS an emotionally stunted narcissist, vampirically sucking the vital energies from an ever-renewing pool of naive and talented young ppl whose attention fuels his greedy black hole of an ego. Only ALMOST always a sexual predator.
    Suggested by @LG
  10. People who say "Oh, but you're so great! How are you still single?!"
    I know it's supposed to be a compliment, but cmon. I just wanna shout "Oh, you're right! I am great! Why don't I just go snatch a boy off the street and make him mine! That's how that works!"
    Suggested by @hollis
  11. People who say "I don't watch TV" like it's a badge of honor.
    You do you, but don't act like the rest of us are the dregs of humanity because we're excited for Game of Thrones tonight.
    Suggested by @mandi
  12. Cycling enthusiasts. The ones with the stretchy shorts, Lance Armstrong shrines, and anger management issues who yell at drivers as if streets weren't made for driving.
    Children, residents of Copenhagen, and David Byrne are all exempt, obviously.
    Suggested by @jonathan
  13. People who insist on pronouncing the name of a location in the corresponding local accent even if they're not from there
    "Co-LOM-bia." "Ha-wa-EE." We get it, you're enlightened, and that must mean I am a colonialist
    Suggested by @bjnovak
  14. man with carabiner who isn't using it for sport
    Often paired with: cargo shorts, tevas or chacos, nalgene (if it's 2000) and Klean Kanteen (if it's now), a-politicalness, unnerving sunny disposition
    Suggested by @collier
  15. People who pepper their otherwise thoughtful statements with unnecessary "sort of"s thereby undermining any verbal power they might've had. Especially people who talk on the radio for living.
    Suggested by @sarahlefton
  16. People who use the dictation function to text while walking.
    Suggested by @videodrew