THINGS I THOUGHT WOULD BE WAY WORSE THAN THEY ARE

  1. Being called fat by strangers on the Internet
  2. Blowjobs
  3. An appendectomy
  4. Regular exercise
  5. Telling an ex-boyfriend you wrote about him in your book
    *depends on the ex-boyfriend but they're usually lovely
  6. Firing someone
    if they're clearly very unhappy it's a relief to all parties
  7. Howard Stern
    Turns out he's the best!
  8. Helping lift your grandma onto the table for a CT scan