THINGS I'VE EATEN SINCE I GOT HOME FROM JAPAN

I got home 48 hours ago and my jet lag is literally causing weirder symptoms than that time I got Scarlet Fever from the subway (swear, plz see next list.) One of these is my strange-ass diet. See below.
  1. 4 mini cans ginger ale
    25% fewer calories, it boasts! Yeah, it's fucking mini. Three of these were consumed at 4am.
  2. Newman's own popcorn with truffle oil and extra salt
    Ate half at 1am and half at 6am...
  3. Egg, cheese and bacon on rye
    Rye!? This was @bennyeggs idea and it was so weird.
  4. 1 coconut water, 1 watermelon water, one packet of dried mangos
    All procured from the snack station at Facebook headquarters in NYC. I would have taken more but people were watching. Felt weirdly sick from the mangos so stuffed a bunch of tissues and trash into the packet and hid it. See? I'm losing my mind.
  5. Wood ear mushroom Gyoza from Radiance Tea House in midtown
    I came back from Japan then went to midtown for more Gyoza!? I'm a woman without a country.
  6. 2 gluten free bagels
    Made in the microwave:( Technically 1.5 because Lamby ate a bunch and chewed it like it was dip and he was an old-timey baseball player.