THINGS MY PARENTS BROUGHT OVER BECAUSE I AM SICK

I am an adult, but when I am sick I still need my mommy & papa. Good thing they live ten minutes away and are easy to manipulate with sob stories (and plain sobs.) Here is what they brought tonight ⭐️
  1. 1 container bean and escarole soup
    Obscure Brooklyn brand from their local grocery
  2. 1 container chicken noodle soup
    Same!
  3. 1 container lentil soup
    Even more obscure Brooklyn brand
  4. 1 loaf gluten free raisin bread
    Please note, my parents have been on that gluten free tip since '02 when gluten was still welcome in most households.
  5. 1 container lite cream cheese
  6. 1 box of Perrier Lime slim cans
  7. 1 green juice
  8. 1 red juice
  9. 2 refusals to hug or touch me
  10. 9 opinions about The Clintons
  11. 17 judgments about how my sister is spending her time since graduating
  12. 1 breakdown about the temperature at which I am keeping my house
    "82 degrees is psychotic!" -my father. "It's not psychotic, but it's terrible!" -my mother
  13. 2 old coots 🍓🍓🍓