WHY I HATE JAZZ

I know this seems like a real plebeian opinion @ChrisK but I just don't like jazz. Many a man has tried to convince me otherwise though not @jackantonoff because then we would not be a couple!
  1. It's impenetrable
    Seriously who is making the rules here!?
  2. It seems like it's way more fun for the people playing it
    They could go on for hours. And they do...
  3. I like words. Words I can understand.
  4. I like to shake my ass.
  5. I like Taylor Swift.