LIST OF DEMANDS

In order to negotiate, here's what I'll need...
  1. Stop making food so damn spicy. Especially you, California.
    Can't Earth just find a way for people to make their own shit as spicy as they want it? "Mild" in LA means spicy. I got a chicken salad sandwich for lunch... IT WAS SPICY. Not cool.
  2. Assume that I want rice!
    I'm talking to you Chinese and Indian delivery.
  3. Mandated therapy for all.
    And while we're at it, group and couples too. Is not a proven enough fact that repressed emotions are killing us? WHAT DO YOU THINK STRESS IS?
  4. Cinnamon donuts via Entemann's and Gummi Bears via Trader J's
  5. One more hour in a day
  6. 8 perfect, peaceful hours of sleep
  7. To be able to read Judd
  8. @shinyunicorn to be my next door neighbor for life
  9. Proof of UFO's and ghosts but only if the ghost is Harris and he's not mean
  10. @white_lightning to live across the street