THINGS YOU WONT SEE AT MY WEDDING

No judgements, I just gotta do me (and Paul)
  1. A Chuppa
    Am I spelling that correctly? Anyway our wedding is indoors and I'm not Jewish enough to care.
  2. A special dance with my dad
    Ew
  3. A "first dance" with Paul where everyone watched us slow dance.
    Awkward much? We also don't have a "song" but if we did it might be let the river run from working girl cuz we sing that a lot in our house.
  4. Assigned seating
    How about freedom seating where you get to be the boss of yourself for once in your goddamned life?
  5. A veil
    I opted for a flower crown even tho veils are fun and pretty
  6. Bridesmaids
    For why? What do they do?
  7. Dinner time
    More like all u can eat Mexican buffet time
  8. My moms friends
    I fought the law and I won
  9. Shorts
    I'll throw you out if you show up to my wedding in shorts. How dare you?