PORTLAND HOTELS, RANKED

As a citizen of Portland, I don't often get the pleasure of staying in hotels here. But for those who would like to visit, here are a handful of options with price information included.
  1. 1.
    Ace Hotel ($$)
    Right by Powell's. Located above a Stumptown Coffee Roasters, which (along with Ace Hotels) used to be more of a rarity, but by now they may have these everywhere? Great location, decent price. Free Pink Pearl Erasers in lobby.
  2. 2.
    Jupiter Hotel ($)
    Used to be an actual seedy motel, currently a cute hotel that is "seedy motel" themed. Great/walkable central east side location, convenient to pretty much everything a visitor to Portland would want to do. Should have a pool though.
  3. 3.
    The Nines ($$$)
    I stayed here for a bachelorette party once. Free slippers! Portland's fanciest hotel, to my knowledge. Rooftop bar is too high and scary. I also saw LeBron James here once. He's just as tall as they say. Thought I saw Fred Durst on the same day, but sadly it was just a "Fool's Durst."
  4. 4.
    Tiny House Hotel ($$)
    For those who like something "a bit different" and would like to spend a night in a real tiny house built by real quirky Portland artisans.