GOP CANDIDATES AT A PARTY

Bill O'Reilly's hosting, probably
  1. Donald Trump: The Heavyweight Prick
    Brings bottle of Grey Goose, doesn't share
  2. Ted Cruz: The Lightweight Prick
    Wakes up the next day with penises drawn all over his face
  3. Marco Rubio: The Overconfident Underachiever
    Gets upset that he's losing the pong tournament so he jumps on the fucking table
  4. John Kasich: The Babysitter
    Works tirelessly to break up fights and make sure his friends are having a good time
  5. Ben Carson
    Didn't go