SHIT I CAN PUT ON A RESUME

  1. Five star reputation on XBOX live
  2. Got third place in the all cup tour on mirror mode in Mario Kart Double Dash
  3. Excellent skills at throwing things into a trash can from a distance
  4. Great team player; project partners frequently bond when they have to chastise me together when I'm slacking off
  5. Can fold an origami crane and solve a Rubik's cube in a minute
  6. I've only failed one college course
  7. 3rd grade Jog-a-thon co-champion
  8. 2x youth basketball league champion
  9. Own 2 hats