As I read Eat, Pray, Love (as well as have been practicing yoga & reflecting w my life coach Taseanna) my thoughts have been getting too deep so for self exploration I will list them. Since, afterall, this is suppose to be my journal. Also fear is totally one of my life lessons.
  1. I fear that Mike & I are not destined by the stars to be together. That I am actually just to scared to find love elsewhere.
    Although I am not interested in that. At all. I fear that. Thats real. & I intend to document our love in a future chapter since Taseanna inspired me w the question "how do you love a person for 10 years seriously" hasn't got off my mind since!!
  2. I fear sometimes. Now, actually that all my friends are such go getters that Ive settled in a career & I could have been so much more ambitious w fashion or something along those lines bc I was so into it in college & see all these ppl around me doing such great things w such fearless ambition.
    Although deep down I know I would have not been happy but sad. I am so SO family oriented. I hate being 25 mins away from my parents let alone hours by car or plane. & I LITERALLY LOVE MY JOB. & all while going to college & working else where knew thats literally all I wanted to do. & Im so happy w it.
  3. I fear that Mike is never going to break out of his funk & make me his wife.
    All I want is that title. Your child. Better yet children. I basically am any way. We literally have been to the moon & back (Idk Im not good at analogies) & I know you are "so in love w me" hahahah be seriously you just have a different way of showing it but I get that & thats whats so magical. & I love you. Again obviously. Just make it official. Ok ?
  4. I fear in my current occupation. I am not pursuing enough. Like I think I would be an excellent hr maybe not hr but that next step up like Katie Brown. Or merchandising. I LOVE merchandising.
    But truley I don't want to drive everyday. At all. Im happy where Im at. Bored at times but very happy. & I want a family like SOON. & my schedule is ideal. I would love to pursue all this after that. But I fear bc Im young now Ill lose my chance. But I really want to do all that after.
  5. Sidenote: everynight I literally pray for the health & happiness of all those that I love. I pray that WE ALL find true happieness, success, peace, serenity with in our love lives, career & family lives.
  6. Also Im literally obsessed w becoming a housewife. Not a member of the show of course. But like Thresea Guidices' life minus the jail. Is all I aspire. (Or my moms) loyal wife, cooking 247, pasta on Sundays, taking care of my husband & 2 "beautiful daughters", being a fashionable mogul mom. Like making an awesome career out of crafts or blogging.
  7. That pretty much sums up my fears. Started off scared, ended up smiling.
    Vision, vision, vision, focus, focus, focus.
  8. Maybe Ive been too scared my whole life & didn't go out their & fight for what I want & the universe is just waiting on me to do that. I feel so ambitious right now. Let me go out their & get Michael & my children. Let me start my period. Plssssss 👏🏼🙏🏼 YASS !!
  9. Also while I'm at it. I wish my dad would just stay put at GE. I mean. He loves wine. He does not complain, at all. Not making the big bucks but enough. & I know he loves neon. (An equivalent to Mike & floors. & me & crafts) but an hr & a half a way & 10 hrs, staying a night there. Rain, snow. Like I want to worry ab all that.
    Are you sure your not just money hungry?