Babysitting, as told by gifs
I've been a babysitter for 6 years and a nanny for 1 year. I've seen some stuff.
- •When the kids come running in and yelling "LEXIE LEXIE LEXIE!" When I get to their house.😃😃😃😃😃
- •When the kids inadvertently say something dirty:The kids I nanny for got hermit crabs this week, and all week long they've been saying "I can't believe we have crabs!" I've been keeping it together, but I deserve a medal.
- •When it's a Friday night and the parents say that the kids can just eat pizza and veg out in front of the TV:This is the fucking DREAM.
- •When the kids ask you personal questions about yourself:See this list for one of my best stories about the interrogation I receive from the kids I babysit: ADULTHOOD! F*** YEAH!
- •When the kids are playing some kind of make believe game and you are hearing the things they've picked up:"And then, Jenny breaks up with John because he cheated on her with her sister." Where do they learn these things????
- •When parents bring up limiting the kids' screen time:9 times out of 10, the parents who really really emphasize limiting screen time have kids who spend their entire lives in front of the TV. "Please limit screen time to x amount of time" loosely translates to "my kids are used to sitting in front of the TV all the time and are going to be super pissed when you don't let them do that." Gee, thanks!
- •When the kids ask you to read to them:ABSOLUTELY I WILL.
- •When the kids ask you a question you don't know the answer to:
- •When the kid(s) like the same stuff you do:"You watch iCarly? I watch iCarly!"
- •When parents lie to me (part one):Most parents don't realize this, but when you emphasize feeding your kid fruit and then I cut up an apple for your kid and it's clear he has never seen an apple before in his life, this is lying to me. I totally get having rules and whatnot for your kids, but you need to do your part too. It's not fair to just expect me to turn your kid into some apple-lover in an afternoon.
- •When parents lie to me (part two):The problem with parents lying to me is that I still have to do what they told me to do, but now I have a kid who is extremely unhappy with this brand new development. For example, you tell me not to let your kids watch TV all afternoon even though that's what they normally do. Then they spend the rest of the time being absolute monsters because they're pissed that I'm changing their schedule and making them play a game or something. This deception equals a really fun afternoon for me.
- •How it feels when the kids won't stop asking me questions:6 is all: "Lexie can we eat gummies????!!!" 2.5 is all: "I wanna watch minions!!" 9 is all: "when are we going to the pool???" And I'm all: "Can I please pee by myself????"
- •How I feel about the number of times I say "because I said so" in a day now:I have a 2 1/2 year old who asks me the same question an average of three times. Sometimes there really is no better answer.
- •When you're reminded of how gross kids are:Kids are just gross. Yes, even yours.
- •When the parents are thrilled with the job you've done:Yeah, that's right, I'm amazing at this. You're welcome.
- •When someone thinks I'm the kids' mom:This week, someone thought I was my 9 year old's mom. Let's all just let that sink in for a minute.
- •The amount of love I have for my kids and their families:So so much.