The Office Season 9's Cold Opens, Ranked By Hilarity

The cold opens of The Office are the unsung heroes of this amazing show, whether they are connected to something else in the show, or just completely random.
  1. 1.
    Jim Bites His Lip (Episode 10)
    Jim biting his lip and then throwing a mini-tantrum about it perfectly demonstrates what it's like when you bite your lip. "Pam, I'm going home!!" makes me cry laughing.
  2. 2.
    The Chore Wheel (Episode 2)
    Watching the evolution of Pam's chore wheel reminds us why we love these people and this office.
  3. 3.
    Dwight's Pumpkin Head (Episode 5)
    Dwight stuck a pumpkin on his head as a joke, then was unable to get it off. Reminds me of the episode of Friends when Joey sticks a turkey on his head.
  4. 4.
    Phyllis and Fifty Shades of Grey (Episode 18)
    Phyllis getting her jollies at work via an audiobook leads to an uproar at the office and lots of hilarious moments.
  5. 5.
    Jim and Dwight Shrupert (Episode 11)
    Dwight recounts his and Jim's history of pretending to be brothers in order to make sales. Definitely one of the highlights of their friendship.
  6. 6.
    Asian Jim (Episode 3)
    Definitely one of Jim's best pranks, sending in his actor friend to pretend to be him. Props to how much planning this prank must have required.
  7. 7.
    Sneaky Sneaks (Episode 14)
    Darryl has already started working for Athlead but hasn't told anyone, so Erin is covering for him. My favorite moment was the introduction of "Bear-yl", the bear Erin thinks can pass for Darryl.
  8. 8.
    Oscar Vs Angela (Episode 8)
    Oscar talking about how the universe rewards true love while Angela stares at him through the glass is serial killer-esque and amazing. This scene is so underrated.
  9. 9.
    The Beginning of the Paper Airplane Contest (Episode 20)
    Highlight: Creed throwing a cantaloupe and then taking a bow. Classic.
  10. 10.
    The Fake Grail (Episode 12)
    One of Jim's old pranks has the entire office looking for a fake holy grail. Pretty funny and I had always wondered if any of Jim's pranks had just sat there, undiscovered.
  11. 11.
    Summer Recap (Episode 1)
    The gang recounting their summers makes a nice introduction to the season, and reminds us that we've been watching these people for 9 years.
  12. 12.
    Kevin Discovers Oscar's Secret (Episode 6)
    Kevin walking in on Oscar asking the film crew for their sensitivity regarding his affair with the senator is one of the most ironic moments on this show.
  13. 13.
    Didn't You Get the Memo? It's Stairmageddon! (Episode 19)
    Erin trying to help Stanley up the stairs is pretty funny, and a good start to this episode.
  14. 14.
    Andy On The Boat (Episode 7)
    Andy video chatting with the gang and having all of his stuff fall into the water is pretty funny and Andy-like.
  15. 15.
    Dwight's New Security Measures (Episode 22)
    As part of Dwight's new security, you have to tell Erin the previously-emailed password before she can let you in. After Dwight accidentally messes up 3 times, Erin has to steam him.
  16. 16.
    Schrute Funeral Traditions (Episode 17)
    Another interesting look into Dwight's family and a good introduction to the plot of the episode.
  17. 17.
    Wallace Finds Out Andy Lied To Him (Episode 16)
    Somewhat funny but largely anticlimactic.
  18. 18.
    Dwight Fires Kevin (Episode 23)
    Definitely not the funniest thing, and it just seemed a little cruel given Kevin's history with the company and how they had all become a family. He's never been a good accountant, why are you firing him now?
  19. 19.
    The Beginning of the Christmas Episode (Episode 9)
    This title is incredibly boring, much like this open.
  20. 20.
    Pam Apologizes to Brian (Episode 13)
    The whole Pam/Brian storyline was a little cringe-inducing, and this was no exception.
  21. 21.
    Andy's Softball Highlight Reel (Episode 4)
    Only marginally funny and largely forgettable, this was definitely not one of the strongest cold opens.