Things that are only okay when I do them

I mean, come on guys.
  1. Having a private Instagram
    I WANNA SEE STOP HIDING YOUR PICTURES GODDAMNIT
  2. Not texting back
    Did you DIE?
  3. Unfollowing people on social media
    I'm awesome, what's your problem?
  4. Being late
    WE HAVE PLACES TO BE, YOU INCONSIDERATE JERK
  5. Having inside jokes
    It's fine. I'm sure it's stupid anyway.