WHAT THEY SAY VS WHAT THEY MEAN: HOUSE HUNTERS EDITION

This show is like crack to me. It's a problem.
  1. I want a big space for entertaining=I plan to entertain my friends and family once and then never entertain them again.
  2. I want a new house=old people and things creep me out.
  3. I want a HUGE master bedroom=I want to assert room dominance over my children and guests.
  4. Ugh, I hate these paint colors=no one taught me that paint colors aren't actually permanent.
  5. Every man needs a shed/man cave! = So I can hide there and not do dishes or cook because that's what my wife is there for!
  6. I definitely need a space for a gym/workout room= I really want people to think that I workout regularly.
  7. I want a special/unique house= hey everyone look how special I am!! I'm not like other girls/boys!!!!!!
  8. I think it's cheap when people lay their tiles down diagonally= I'm finding that when I get invited to a friend's house I'm not usually invited back...
  9. I love the curb appeal= this house will totally make all my friends jealous.
  10. I definitely need a walk in closet for all my clothes = Haha that's because I'm a woman, and we're all obsessed with fashion and clothes!