Things Nobody Told Me About Having a Baby

Some of this is gross...
  1. It's 10 months, not 9
  2. They start counting 2 weeks before you have even conceived
    It's easier for the doctor to count from your last period. Pretty lazy I think.
  3. I sort of thought I'd recognize her when she came out
    But the whole thing was pretty shocking including seeing her face for the first time. She was already her own person.
  4. Doulas are a nice idea, but boots on the ground are better
    In the abstract, I thought didn't want someone around all the time, so I thought having a post partum doula come by and give us tips would be helpful but when it came down to it I needed someone just to watch her so I could sleep. By the time I got home from the hospital I had already figured out all the pointers the doula tried to show us.
  5. Blood clots the size of your fist might come out of you and you'll think they are organs
  6. Baby girls can get baby periods soon after they are born
    B/c they are pumped with the mom's hormones
  7. Baby girls and baby boys can have milk come out of their nipples
    Same reason as above- so weird
  8. The combo of your hormones going bonkers, the trauma of the actual birth, and the sleep deprivation will leave you more of a mess than you can possibly imagine
  9. I want to pick her nose all the time
    you can't because their nostrils are too tiny and it's torture to see huge boogs just sitting there waiting for a gentle coaxing
  10. The way they just want to stare at you
  11. It all got easier once she started to smile
    Around 2-3 months
  12. It's fun to read pregnancy books, but make sure you read up on what do to the first few months because you'll be too tired to read after
  13. Buy some hospital grade ice packs for your vag.
    They have some pad/ice pack hybrids you can order on amazon. Same ones they'll give you in the hospital
  14. Start taking colace everyday as you get closer to your due date
    so it doesn't kill when you poop for the first time
  15. Act like the hospital room is a fancy hotel and take everything when you go.
    You- or hopefully your insurance paid for it so don't feel guilty at all. Take all the pads ice packs, nose squigi things, mesh diaper (for you not the baby), trays, EVERYTHING with you.
  16. Buy an exercise ball as soon as you are knocked up.
    It's amazing when you are pregnant to stretch on. I brought it to the delivery room and was great then too. And it was the only guaranteed way to bounce the baby to sleep. It's a critical piece of equipment and the best $17 I've ever spent.