WHAT TO DO DURING A BLIZZARD

I grew up in Chicago -- no, not a suburb, yes the city -- and have since lived in Boston; Houston; and now Washington, DC. I have seen some horrible responses to blizzards, so here is what you should do.
  1. Think ahead (pessimistic)
    Not every blizzard is going to shut down the city, but you should assume that it will be difficult for stores to open as roads are blocked. Do you have enough toilet paper to last a day or two without a trip to the store? Do you have some food you will be happy to eat? Do you have booze? Maybe some candles, just in case?
  2. Think ahead (optimistic)
    Being stuck inside your home is a great excuse to break from habit and fulfill some of those wishes that you defer because, "There isn't enough time." Bake! Read! Call your friends! Have your friends over! Have sex, a lot of sex! Maybe you can finally beat that old N64 game you never actually finished as a kid. I made carnitas, which requires some time, a pork shoulder, and an appetite. If you want the recipe, I'll happily pass it along!
  3. Mother Nature is your Daddy
    Mother Nature doesn't care about your plans, or really about anything you say you "need," to do. The snow will fall, and once it starts, the hazards only compound. Other drivers are a huge danger, so don't drive! Trees might lose branches, so don't park under a tree. Surrender to the elements. You will not win.
  4. Listen to Marsellus Wallace
    In Pulp Fiction, Marsellus Wallace tells Butch, "Fuck pride," when explaining why Butch should throw a fight. While Butch doesn't listen, you should heed Marsellus' advice. You are not too big and bad to have candles, flashlights, and a little water on hand. You also aren't too cool for a shovel.
  5. Let your roommates know what you think of them
  6. TL;DR: Chill Out. Sit down.
    All of this is to say, just relax. Try some new liquors or beers, take pleasure in the simple things. Check up on friends and family, and be thankful you have a home into which to retreat. Read this from a dude in Buffalo who gets it: http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/23/opinion/in-case-of-blizzard-do-nothing.html