Things That Keep Me Up at Night

What was that sound?!
  1. 1.
    The ticking of a Swatch Watch on a shelf by my bed. (I know the obvious solution. Thanks, anyway.)
  2. 2.
    Two spiders talking about crawling on my face once I fall asleep.
  3. 3.
    The furnace whirring on before I can fall asleep.
  4. 4.
    The dog pacing in the kitchen. Why is she pacing? Is she nervous? Worried about her big day tomorrow SLEEPING ON THE COUCH?
  5. 5.
    The glow of my iPhone. (Again, I know the solution.)
  6. 6.
    Helicopters overhead. Nonstop. Seriously, who are you looking for at midnight?!
  7. 7.
    Planning which Instagram filters to use on my next post of #craftbeer.
  8. 8.
    Thinking about my trip to NYC — the city that literally NEVER SLEEPS.
  9. 9.
    Starting to fall asleep in such an awkward, twisted position and then realizing that not only am I uncomfortable as hell, but I’m weirdly cozy warm and don’t want untangle myself.
  10. 10.
    My neighbor’s car alarm on a total POS car that no one is actually stealing.