GROWING UP IN LAGUNA BEACH OR: HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE TRAFFIC

I've lived in Laguna Beach my whole life. It's not like the show, I promise
  1. THE GOOD:
  2. Laguna Beach is a very nice place. It is a great place to grow up
  3. The public school district here is 💯
    Because there are a lot of rich people
  4. The beaches are beautiful
    When the water is above 60 degrees
  5. The overall liberal political leaning
  6. Our trails are top notch
  7. And there are a lot of really good neighborhoods
    Even though all of my friends refuse to call Bluebird Canyon "the BBC" as I keep suggesting. And we only have landslides *occasionally*
  8. And all of the benefits that typically come with living around a bunch of really rich people
    Schools and city government are very well funded. Very low crime rate (because we live in a bubble where because there is little poverty, people aren't forced to take illegal measures in desperation)
  9. THE BAD:
  10. An insane lack of racial diversity
    While Laguna does have a lot of successful women and a prominent LGBTQ community, it is severely lacking any people of color. All the old rich white people basically have the views of Ron Burgundy
  11. The gated communities
    Filled to the brim with super rich, super douchebags. Almost all of the mega-wealthy in Laguna are conservative Republicans. If Laguna taxes were just a douche jar in every home, we could pay off the nation's debt.
  12. Some people at my school think that there shouldn't be a minimum wage
    Guess where they live?
  13. The INSANE number of tourists in the summertime
    It's too much. Our roads cannot handle all of them.
  14. Parking
    Impossible
  15. The show "Laguna Beach"
    The first thing people bring up when they find out I'm from Laguna. No, I'm not as cool or rich as them.
  16. The price of literally everything
    Food is expensive as hell, houses are expensive as hell
  17. The law prohibiting new chain restaurants
    A good idea that turns horrible when you realize that the ones already here get to keep their place. We do not need a Taco Bell. I'd like to keep my GI tract intact (no rhyme intended)
  18. All of your super old, rich, white neighbors will call the cops on you at 9:00 for being too loud without even talking to you first
    There wasn't even music playing.
  19. The public library closes at 5:00