1. Gaston Caperton III is a former president of the College Board. He signed a certificate my brother got in high school that ended up on the fridge. Over the years, my family created elaborate fan fiction about this man with the most incredible name.
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  2. Lloyd Martin is a comically terrible Allstate lawyer who represented my dad years ago after a car accident. The story of his unbelievable antics were retold over and over at the dinner table. Last year, I was also in a car accident, and was sent to the man, the myth, the legend, the Lloyd himself.
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  3. I had imagined a twirling mustache. And a cape, but that's admittedly kind of on the nose.
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  4. Really, we have spent an insane amount of time talking about Gaston Caperton III.
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