1. Gaston Caperton III is a former president of the College Board. He signed a certificate my brother got in high school that ended up on the fridge. Over the years, my family created elaborate fan fiction about this man with the most incredible name.
  2. Lloyd Martin is a comically terrible Allstate lawyer who represented my dad years ago after a car accident. The story of his unbelievable antics were retold over and over at the dinner table. Last year, I was also in a car accident, and was sent to the man, the myth, the legend, the Lloyd himself.
  3. I had imagined a twirling mustache. And a cape, but that's admittedly kind of on the nose.
  4. Really, we have spent an insane amount of time talking about Gaston Caperton III.