Or are they adages?
  1. A person is only as attractive as their last tagged photo.
  2. It is a fool who turns a bush into a topiary tree.
  3. Untrustworthy is the man who edits his own Wikipedia page.
  4. A penny is only useful as a tool for avoiding other pennies.
  5. A Jill of all trades has to be a master of like oral, at least.
  6. From parody to verified is but a step.
  7. When the shit hits the fan, buy an AC unit already.
  8. You made your bed, now Instagram it.
  9. All that glitters is on molly.
  10. Ten acai berries, a cup of chia seeds, five to seven almonds and a shot of wheatgrass a day keeps the doctor away.
  11. The 🍎 doesn't fall from the 🌵.
    Suggested by @videodrew