NEW APHORISMS

Or are they adages?
  1. 1.
    A person is only as attractive as their last tagged photo.
  2. 2.
    It is a fool who turns a bush into a topiary tree.
  3. 3.
    Untrustworthy is the man who edits his own Wikipedia page.
  4. 4.
    A penny is only useful as a tool for avoiding other pennies.
  5. 5.
    A Jill of all trades has to be a master of like oral, at least.
  6. 6.
    From parody to verified is but a step.
  7. 7.
    When the shit hits the fan, buy an AC unit already.
  8. 8.
    You made your bed, now Instagram it.
  9. 9.
    All that glitters is on molly.
  10. 10.
    Ten acai berries, a cup of chia seeds, five to seven almonds and a shot of wheatgrass a day keeps the doctor away.
  11. 11.
    The 🍎 doesn't fall from the 🌵.
    Suggested by   @videodrew