Something I Don't Talk About

  1. I've had anxiety issues my whole life but have learned to cope by accepting I can always be in control
  2. I still get slightly anxious in new situations and difficult circumstances
  3. But the other night I was in a bar with my cousins in Ireland and it was very small and cramped
  4. Then they shut the doors to make sure more people didn't get in as it was last call
  5. And because of the tightness
  6. And the fact the door was closed
  7. I started having a slight panic attack
  8. Not to mention I drank a bit more than usual
  9. And we're with people I barely knew
    My cousins are people I trust with my life. But their friends were also there
  10. And my heart was racing
  11. And so I tried to get to the bathroom for space and deep breaths
  12. But I couldn't get through
  13. So finally I pushed my way through all the while making me more anxious
  14. I told my cousin later on and he thought I was joking.
  15. I know he didn't mean he thought I was making panic attacks up or making light of the situation but he just never knew I had anxiety
  16. But that's the issue, no one knows that kind of thing, because people are scared to admit it
  17. So anyway I needed to get that off my chest