None of them know this app exists so I'm safe, for now.
  1. Please do not push me to talk to this guy I have no interest in
    Yeah he's nice enough, but in a platonic sense and talking to him feels like a chore
  2. Stop telling me everyone has the same problems and allow me to wallow in my pity
    For at least a little while, as I like to think I've extended this gesture to you
  3. Can we start making plans in advance and not always "play it by ear"
    I like knowing what to expect, humor me
  4. No I do not want to get drunk every night this week
    We all know what awaits us at the end, dehydration and sleep deprivation. No thank you
  5. I'm sorry *insert boy's name here* is not being clear and is sending you mixed messages but this is the 12th time he's done it and if I have to hear the same indecisive spiel again I am going to bang my head into a brick wall
    Excuse the run on
  6. Stop canceling plans with me in favor of *insert boy's name here* or I will cancel our friendship
    The first 5 times this month were a given but I have had enough!