Why I'm Not Sleeping

  1. I've ruined my sleepetite (appetite for sleep) by taking marathon naps during the day
  2. My dog is in dire need of attention
    Look at her, that's the kind of dog that gets what she wants
  3. I got a notification on li.st
    So strange and new, I must check it out
  4. I started watching a new series on amazon prime
  5. My neighbor left her floodlights on and they are shining through my window
    This one really grinds my gears
  6. My other neighbor is playing the guitar on his porch
    And while it sounds very lovely, Louis, I'd prefer you not do this at 1 am
  7. I can't stop thinking about the first time I met my mom's friend and her son
    They brought out coconut cream pie, I dropped it in my hair, everyone pretended not to see. The pie was delicious, the shame was lasting