IRRATIONAL THINGS I THINK WHILE PMSING, OR PERHAPS I'M A HUGE JERK

I have these thoughts maybe twice a month, then think back and laugh or blush at their ridiculously specific and arbitrary nature.
  1. Do NOT post a pic of your #healthybreakfast on Instagram. Can't you do anything without needing validation? GOD, MILLENNIALS.
  2. At some point, doesn't being in a happy relationship for over a decade get some special "get out of single 30-something bitchfest" card? Like, one out of every 50 texts will be about something other than dating? How did I become friends with Bridget Jones?
  3. On that note, when did everyone I know become solely interested in promoting something on social media? Their job. Their art. Their pov. If these conversations happened IRL we would not stand for it. I hope.
  4. Don't stand up when the plane lands. It's going to be a minute. Finite space and finite number of people. No one will be left behind and you won't get a puppy for being the first off the plane.
  5. Can we please reclaim gratitude? I'm a huge fan of appreciating simple pleasures, but a picture of a bag of coffee with #365grateful just seems to be stretching the meaning of the word.