10 THINGS I WISH SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TOLD ME IN FOURTH GRADE

  1. If you study biology, you could work with those giraffes you love so much.
    Why this was never expressly stated to me, I do not know.
  2. Don't spend your allowance on the gelly roll pens at the school store.
    Save that shit for a PlayStation.
  3. You don't have to be one of the mean girls.
    They still hang out. In their hometown. 20 years later. Reliving the glory days.
  4. If you study marine biology, you could be a marine biologist.
    It just never added up.
  5. That boy doesn't matter.
  6. Enjoy those pep rallies.
    Time. Outside. Of. Class.
  7. That boy also doesn't matter.
  8. When they split you up into different rooms by gender, your mind is about to get fucking blown.
  9. Your packed lunch is better than the school lunch.
    I. Promise.
  10. The beanie babies will not appreciate in value.
    They won't.