1989 TOUR OUTFITS, RANKED
Two of my favorite subjects: Taylor and fashion omggggg!!!!!!
- •Style/This Love Sparkly Flapper DressThis might be my all-time favorite tour outfit of hers. It's pretty but not tacky, sparkly and flappy when she dances so it's great for attention-grabbing in stadiums. Just A+ all around. Spoiler alert: the rest of this list will mostly be comparing the other outfits to this one.
- •Late Pop-Up Addition #1Whyyy isn't this always the Out of the Woods dress?? It LOOKS LIKE WOODS!!
- •Blank Space Sparkly BlazerGREAT choice for a Blank Space outfit. What a boss bitch.
- •Out Of The Woods Sparkly JumpsuitI get that this is like, attention-grabbing. But it's not NOT tacky. Also HOW does she get this contraption on and off in the like 2 minutes allotted?? Also I do NOT care for how her legs magically turn into her feet
- •I Knew You Were Trouble Glorified Bra & Hot PantsLook, I'm just not a fan of crop tops OR hot pants and it's been really hard on mine and Taylor's (imaginary) relationship in the last couple years. Obviously it works on her but it's still like, what does she think is so alluring about the those two inches of upper abdomen?
- •Welcome To New York Bra, Circle Skirt & Sparkly JacketNot a huge fan of this jacket. Like the shape of the skirt but not necessarily the color/fabric
- •Welcome To New York/New Romantics Variation #2This version of the skirt looks extremely cheap. With the added bonus of being more boring than the first option!
- •Clean/Love Story/Surprise Song White Strapless Bra and Hot PantsThis is like the nadir of Tay's crop top/hot pants obsession. The rhinestones and otherwise boring cut makes the top/shorts look cheap and boring but the boots are undeniably hot & make the whole look work. But again: HOW does she get those on and off so quickly??
- •Late Pop-Up Addition #2This is fun & different- a nice change-up. But Crop Top Fatigue prevents me from ranking this higher.
- •Late Pop-Up Addition #3Sure, this looks like a cheaper knock-off version of the Style dress but that's still better than some of the more original designs she's come up with!
- •Enchanted/Wildest Dreams Mashup And Also Any Surprise Ballad-Singing Guest Performances Tear-Away SkirtSomething about this seems very lazy to me. One of my FAVORITE things Taylor does is the Surprise Quick Change, and just taking off a skirt is hardly up to her standards. I get that it's supposed to be dreamy and romantic but it doesn't quite work for me.
- •I Wish You Would VariationI think this outfit was nixed early on? It's a less good/cheaper-looking version of what she's wearing during IKYWT so that makes sense.
- •Late Pop-Up Addition #4Um, sure? It's basically a less-good version of the Style dress, without really adding anything new to the conversation. Maybe that's not fair- it does highlight her uterus in an odd way! But bonus points for not being a crop top!
- •Shake It Off Sparkly Flapper Bra & Hot PantsI mostly like the silver version bc it reminds me of the Style dress from earlier. But I get that the movement this dress provides works for Shaking things Off.
- •More Shake It Off VariationsBoth of these are tacky af. Those colors look like Easter via Party City and again with the unnecessarily naked midsection.
- •Bad Blood/We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together Black Leather JumpsuitI kind of hate this. I get that this is Taylor's "badass" look but bad blood is one of the worst songs on this tour (sorry Tay) so her dressing for that theme isn't something that really appeals to me. And this is yet another mind-boggling choice for an easy on-and-off tour outfit.
- •Late Pop-Up Addition #5Hahahaha this literally looks like something you'd find on the ground in Times Square on New Years Day
- •How You Get The Girl Sparkly Light Up DressHateeeee this. Did she find this in the discount aisle at Target? Everything about this is cheap and tacky and bad. The ONLY way it works for me is if I choose to believe that she's purposefully highlighting how superficial and silly this particular song is- which isn't really Taylor's M.O.