TRICKS I CAN'T WAIT TO TEACH MY NEW PUPPY

  1. Sit
  2. Stay
  3. Roll over
  4. Roll back over the other way
  5. Do a cartwheel
  6. Untangle your leash
  7. Empty out that little gunk drain in the kitchen sink
  8. Remind me where Google Maps says we should turn right
  9. Interpret this text
  10. Keep track of my appointments and finances in a small journal
  11. Put on khakis and pretend to be my boyfriend when we visit my grandmother
  12. Fetch!