I think we're done. Let me tell you about my Monday, yesterday. Spoiler Alert: this ends well. We're all safe, fine & listening to ELO right now.
  1. 1130am
    Husband calls to tell me he's in the ER & doesn't remember how he got there.
  2. 1131am
    Panicked calls/texts confirming Husband had arrived at the ER, is safe & okay.
  3. 1145am
    Tell colleagues that I have to peace out & get my kid
  4. Noon
    Have put things in order on my desk, turned on Out of Office, leave to get Lil
  5. 1220p
    Arrive at Lily's school. Her therapist expresses concern & I'm all like "I'm fine". We leave to go to the hospital.
  6. 1232p
    Nose & throat start to go numb - I am driving.
  7. 1235p
    Chest starts to constrict, shooting pains down arms, can't breath, hands start to curl upon themselves uncontrollably. Panic builds.
  8. 1240p
    Pull over, turn on hazards. Call 911 because I legit feel like I'm on the verge of blacking out/suspect am having a heart attack & I'm driving & MY KID IS IN THE CAR.
  9. 1243
    Telling the 911 operator what's happening (my daughter is def scared in the back seat because she echoes what she hears when she's scared: "My name is Rachel! I'm 32! No I can't breathe!")
  10. 100
    In the ambulance & I'm trying like HELL to calm the actual fuck down. Meanwhile Lily is charming the police & the paramedics -she's playing Minecraft on her Kindle with them. They gave her a teddy bear whom she named Bandage.
  11. 200
    Decided it was in the best interests of all parties to bum a ride from the ambulance to the hospital we were headed towards anyway. Lily sings to me & tells me it will be okay. She is so brave my heart almost explodes due to pride..
  12. 500
    Shit, they're finally discharging us, but Husband's car was left at his office & mine is on the side of a highway in Wayzata.
  13. 600
    We've both been discharged. One of Husband's sisters came through & we've managed to procure both cars. Pretty much arrived home by now. Are slightly hungry.
  14. 630
    I'm at the grocery store to pick up something for dinner, staring at the milk going "How the actual fuck did I get here". Queue the Talking Heads.
  15. Moral of the story
    The Mind is a very powerful thing. Do not underestimate it. Also, you are tougher than you think. Hang in there. I love you.
  16. 24 hours later
    Here's hoping we maxed out our deductibles this year. 2 ambulance rides? I'm feeling confident in that. The American healthcare system is a fucking joke.