Today has been a bad day
In an attempt to release it (and all of this shite year) I'm going to mention all the things causing me crippling anxiety today.
- •The high today was -8.My husband's car wouldn't start which is causing great concern for our commutes tomorrow.
- •My cat Steve has been peeing all over the house today.We suspect he ate something he shouldn't have, but the best we can do is keep an eye on him. We have no money. None. I'm not exaggerating: there's nothing. Like, my mortgage check was rubber, so the idea of a vet visit would be laughable if I was capable of laughter. I'm so fucking worried about him.
- •My brother drove my car to work tonight.I let him use it because today is FUCKING COLD, but I'm so worried. We didn't add him to our insurance when he moved in with us because we couldn't afford it (plus permissive use/yada, yada... but still). His job is less than a mile from our home so he usually walks. Tonight when he gets off at between 1130-2am (bartender) the temp is expected to be around -23 with the wind chill. I couldn't let him walk home in that. I trust him, but not the elements.
- •Steve 😣😖😫🙁
- •My bank account.I have never been so financially fucked in my whole life. We've always had to live paycheck to paycheck, unfortunately. This year, our family has had a few visits to the hospital, busted car issues & unexpected bills. Right now, we are hurting. I'm not gonna lie: I'm fucking scared. When the house payment clears, we're gonna have about $12 for the remaining 10 days until I get paid.
- •The rest of the world as a wholeOur "president" elect, climate change, the way the rest of the world views us fucked up Americans, etc. This is a constant source of anxiety. It's almost comforting in the anxiety it affords me: it's like "oh yeah- I remember you [threat of nuclear destruction]. Get in here. How you been?" Lol- see how I laugh?
- •Here's what I'm going to do.
- •I give love to this world.
- •I LOVE everyone(Yes. I give love to everyone- including our joke of a cheeto looking, squirrel toupee wearing, mockery of a "president" & his homie in Russia: I love you two. You need it. Christ almighty- they fucking need it). Tragically, they're only SOME of the worst people here.
- •I am sending love. I am sending it to all of you. I am taking this shitty shitty day and wrapping it up in itself and tossing it back on the burning effigy of 2016.