ALL THE THINGS @GOLDIE & I DID WRONG AT THE FARMERS MARKET
@Goldie and I met at a friend's birthday party last year and have dreamed about going to the farmers market together ever since. Today we made it real—on what Goldie realized was our friendiversary! Except we also did everything wrong.
- •Couldn't figure out what this vegetable emoji is supposed to be.We were pregame-texting our farmers market visit.
- •Brought our own drinks.I made us green juice but then realized maybe that was rude/not very farmers market community participatory? It also forced @Goldie to walk around holding her empty, non-disposable green juice vessel the entirety of our hang sesh.
- •Forgot cash.I mean, is cash still a thing? At least we both forgot together. Maybe that's why we're friends.
- •Realized too late that everyone took credit cards.By which point we had eaten enough raspberry samples not to actually want to buy anything. Does that make us terrible people?
- •Only realized about the credit cards because a friend of @Goldie's TOLD US.Not because we looked with our own eyes or asked or anything.
- •Stood in line to get avocado toast at Free Range when there was no line.But what were all those people doing just standing there?
- •Ordered avocado toast at Free Range when there was no avocado toast.It's not even on the menu. At which point I realized that we were in some kind of bougie age-30 spoof of Clueless.
- •Told each other secrets that will forever bond us together in a coven of true friendship.