FROM THE MOUTHS OF TODDLERS

This was actually a list requested by @jansonebwoodlee the day I joined ListApp. Lucky for him, I've spent the whole weekend with the genius toddlers he wanted this to be about: Izzy Ellsworth Cale (6) and his little sister Sabine Roseberry Cale (4). Compiled with note-taking assistance from their mama.
  1. I know there are small pox. Are there also big pox?
    I'm scurred.
  2. Daddy, how tall is the morning? I know: It's 300 years old.
    It is?
  3. Are we going on the highway????? WHY????? I LIKE THE LOW WAY!!!!
    Who knew?
  4. Daddy, I want to slice and dice Lily!
    You can do that tomorrow, Izzy.
  5. Lily, did you make up your job???
    Um, yes I did.
  6. Can you find my key? Can you use magic to make it appear or should I ask Santa if he could please make one and bring it to me?
    Hmmmmmm.
  7. Daddy, why are you reading the newspaper on your phone—it makes your brain crazy!!!
    Good point.
  8. WE ALL LIVE IN A LILY SUBMARINE, A LILY SUBMARINE, A LILY SUBMARINE
    To the tune of you know what.
  9. She needs a timer, okayyyy? She's not a time expert.
    I'm not???
  10. I'm not scared of the ocean. It's not like a tiger or a wild chicken! It's just the ocean.
    Now I'm afraid of wild chickens.
  11. Did you marry somebody, Lily? Why didn't you have a baby?
    No comment.
  12. Is Robinson Crusoe still alive?
    Yes, and I'm going to marry him and have his babies.