HOW MY "RELATIONSHIP" WITH THE PRIEST ENDED

  1. It was very chaste. We went on two dates. We never kissed.
  2. My dad said, "It could be a very short story."
  3. I said, "A short short: I once dated a priest who lived at home with his mother, was estranged from his (Jewish) father, and never paid for my food—even when he ate it all."
  4. The end.