HOW TO STOP BEING A VEGETARIAN

I grew up vegetarian, and then dove headfirst into a bowl of beef tartare at age 30. @jansonebwoodlee was my witness.
  1. 1.
    Glom on to some major life change as an excuse.
    Ie., my mother died and now I need to eat massive amounts of animal products. In my case, actually true!
  2. 2.
    Hang out with a lot of dudes.
    They really like meat. It's cool. It inspires me to want to eat some hardcore animals.
  3. 3.
    Stop imagining horrific animal deaths.
    Don't stop caring about factory farming, just recognize that if you are a first world human being living in any kind of urban sphere, it's likely you are contributing to the industry whether you like it or not. (If you eat dairy, those cows also end up as hamburger, and so on.)
  4. 4.
    Approach meat-eating as a science project 🔬🍔🍗🍖🔬.
    I was so scared of eating animals, but when I'm just experimenting it's kinda fun!
  5. 5.
    Tell yourself you'll only eat grass-fed, sustainably raised, organic animals that were caressed and blessed by monks before their death.
    Because karma.
  6. 6.
    Honor your inner vegetarian.
    Even though I no longer call myself vegetarian, I mostly eat plants. And most of my friends still call me a vegetarian. Which, I mean, I kinda take as an insult. Didn't you see me take that bite of braised lamb? That was WORK, bro.
  7. 7.
    Eat the Spanish fried chicken at AOC.
    I rest my case.
  8. 8.
    Marry me.
    Suggested by   @zkamenetz