MEDICINES I TOOK THIS WEEK FOR MY STRANGE BRONCHIAL AILMENT, IN ORDER OF EFFICACY

I grew up with the modern day equivalent of a witch for a mother, so numbers 10-2 are how I was taught to heal. Number 1 really threw a wrench in the program.
  1. 10. MULTIVITAMINS
    I dunno, they're in my fridge. Mainlined, bc maybe if I take enough it'll *almost* be like I got a vitamin shot?
  2. 9. ASTAXANTHIN
    Good for inflammation, so...? Also in my fridge, adjacent to multivitamins.
  3. 8. ECHINACEA, GOLDENSEAL, ASTRAGALUS, OSHA, LICORICE, LEMON BALM, ISATIS, ANGUSTIFOLIA, HYPERICUM, LOBELIA, ETC.
    IMMUNITYYYYYYY
  4. 7. ZINC
    Shortens the average duration of a cold!
  5. 6. APPLE CIDER VINEGAR & CHLOROPHYLL
    It's so green it's black. And purifying. Of what, exactly, we shall not specify.
  6. 5. LYPOSPHERIC VITAMIN C
    WHO THE EFF KNOWS BUT IT'S EXPENSIVE AND INDECIPHERABLE SO IT MUST WORK.
  7. 4. ELDERBERRY IMMUNITY CUP (with apple cider vinegar and cayenne)
    I sincerely love this. Like, would drink it every day if it didn't cost $4/ounce.
  8. 3. GINGER, OREGANO OIL & CAYENNE SHOT
    Burns so good.
  9. 2. REISHI, GARLIC & OREGANO OIL SHOT
    Completely abominable so it must be AMAZING.
  10. 1. MEATBALLS & SOFT SERVE FROM JON & VINNY'S
    MY CONGESTION IS GONE WITHIN 3 HOURS OF CONSUMPTION!!! Says the former vegetarian who doesn't allow herself to eat dairy or sugar while sick. 👻