SEX OR DONUTS: A QUESTIONNAIRE
In the American food world, people (ahem PR firms) make up arbitrary days and weeks and months to celebrate (ahem SELL) foods. This week is National 🍩🍩🍩 Week. This is my exclusive National 🍩🍩🍩 Week (self) interview.
- 1.Number of times I would have sex instead of eating a donut?ALL. I would always have sex instead of eating a donut. I feel I may be in the minority here?
- 2.Donut or doughnut?The extra "ugh" seems not very chic, non? Streamline. Donut.
- 3.Donuts that I love?Three: All yeasted (also called raised). The glazed or stick donuts from Komoda Store & Bakery on Maui. The strawberry, basil & goat cheese donut from Donut Friend in Highland Park. And @alanakysar's malasadas described below. All other donuts can suck it.
- 4.Which donuts, more specifically, can suck it?CAKE DONUTS. Just stop. You are so unwanted in every vicinity to my person. 🚫⛔️🍰🍩🍰⛔️🚫
- 5.Number of times I would eat ice cream instead of a donut?All. I would always eat ice cream instead of a donut. Except wait, what if we put ice cream INSIDE a (NON-CAKE) donut, like a donut ice cream sandwich?!?!
- 6.Number of times I've made donuts?None. Well, except for...
- 7.Number of likes on the picture of haupia-filled Portuguese donuts (malasadas) @alanakysar taught me to make that I posted on Instagram?MORE THAN ANY OTHER PICTURE I'VE EVER POSTED. By at least a thousand. BECAUSE DONUTS.
- 8.Number of likes you will get if you post a pic of a donut for National 🍩🍩🍩 Week?A fuck ton. Your Instagram will explode. Bonus for multiple donuts in one frame. Mega bonus for trendy toppings: Bacon, sprinkles, balsamic glaze, roasted summer fruits, gold leaf (GO BIG OR DONUT GO AT ALL). (Sorry, had to.)
- 9.Would you have sex or eat a donut?And do you donut or doughnut? Do you cake or raised? Do you powdered or glazed?
- 10.THE LIST APP EXCLUSIVE BONUS: @sarahkieffer TELL US ALL ABOUT THESE BABIES!THEY ARE YEASTED AND YOU ARE AMAZING. How are you eating them and tell us everything.