SEX OR DONUTS: A QUESTIONNAIRE

In the American food world, people (ahem PR firms) make up arbitrary days and weeks and months to celebrate (ahem SELL) foods. This week is National 🍩🍩🍩 Week. This is my exclusive National 🍩🍩🍩 Week (self) interview.
  1. 1.
    Number of times I would have sex instead of eating a donut?
    ALL. I would always have sex instead of eating a donut. I feel I may be in the minority here?
  2. 2.
    Donut or doughnut?
    The extra "ugh" seems not very chic, non? Streamline. Donut.
  3. 3.
    Donuts that I love?
    Three: All yeasted (also called raised). The glazed or stick donuts from Komoda Store & Bakery on Maui. The strawberry, basil & goat cheese donut from Donut Friend in Highland Park. And @alanakysar's malasadas described below. All other donuts can suck it.
  4. 4.
    Which donuts, more specifically, can suck it?
    CAKE DONUTS. Just stop. You are so unwanted in every vicinity to my person. 🚫⛔️🍰🍩🍰⛔️🚫
  5. 5.
    Number of times I would eat ice cream instead of a donut?
    All. I would always eat ice cream instead of a donut. Except wait, what if we put ice cream INSIDE a (NON-CAKE) donut, like a donut ice cream sandwich?!?!
  6. 6.
    Number of times I've made donuts?
    None. Well, except for...
  7. 7.
    Number of likes on the picture of haupia-filled Portuguese donuts (malasadas) @alanakysar taught me to make that I posted on Instagram?
    MORE THAN ANY OTHER PICTURE I'VE EVER POSTED. By at least a thousand. BECAUSE DONUTS.
  8. 8.
    Number of likes you will get if you post a pic of a donut for National 🍩🍩🍩 Week?
    A fuck ton. Your Instagram will explode. Bonus for multiple donuts in one frame. Mega bonus for trendy toppings: Bacon, sprinkles, balsamic glaze, roasted summer fruits, gold leaf (GO BIG OR DONUT GO AT ALL). (Sorry, had to.)
  9. 9.
    Would you have sex or eat a donut?
    And do you donut or doughnut? Do you cake or raised? Do you powdered or glazed?
  10. 10.
    THE LIST APP EXCLUSIVE BONUS: @sarahkieffer TELL US ALL ABOUT THESE BABIES!
    THEY ARE YEASTED AND YOU ARE AMAZING. How are you eating them and tell us everything.