My aunt and I made a root beer float cake yesterday—she said it was my cousins' favorite. I liked it ok, but it just tasted like vanilla. Also, as we learned earlier via @eatthelove's PIE VS CAKE, I'm 100% for pie. We obliged my aunt when she sent us off with a quarter of the cake, but I immediately went on a mission to give it away.
  1. To union workers protesting on the street.
    But they moved their protest before I could get out of the car and attempt a cake foist.
  2. To a homeless person.
    But we couldn't find any. Insert incredibly un-PC joke of your choice here. I apologize in advance.
  3. To a man I thought was a security guard in a parking lot.
    But at the last minute I got scared he wasn't actually a security guard, and chickened out.
  4. To people eating in an outdoor cafeteria.
    But I freaked again and chickened out. There's an art to the cold approach for cake foisting, and I don't quite have it down.
  5. To the first employee I saw when I walked into the health food store.