THE 12 STEPS AS THEY APPLY TO YOUR BOOBS

Though they developed gradually, it cannot be overlooked that my boobs are now a prominent part of my person. I decided to put some of my boob feelings into a well-worn template.
  1. 1.
    Admit that you cannot control your boobs.
  2. 2.
    Recognize a higher power that can help your boobs (the greater boob?).
  3. 3.
    Decide you will turn your life over to the care of those who understand how to correctly handle boobs.
  4. 4.
    Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of your boobs with the help of an experienced boob owner.
  5. 5.
    Admit the many wrongs your boobs have perpetrated, and share this with your boobs and another boob-possessing human.
  6. 6.
    Admit your readiness to have the greater boob remove the wrongs of your lesser boobs.
  7. 7.
    Humbly request that the shortcomings of your boobs be removed.
  8. 8.
    Make a list of the people your boobs have harmed (include yourself).
  9. 9.
    Make amends for past boob errors: This may include wearing poorly fitting sports bras and stunning yet tissue devastating lingerie.
  10. 10.
    Continue to take personal inventory of your boobs. When they are in the wrong, right it.
  11. 11.
    Through reflection, meditation, and prayer, improve your conscious relationship to your boobs. This may involve monthly self-examinations, self-massage, and wearing supportive yet ugly bras and lingerie.
  12. 12.
    Through your own boob awakening, you may now go forth and help others who also suffer from boobs.