THE MOTHEREFFING MEATBALLS: AN ODE TO JON & VINNY'S

  1. Drake was bumping and we went straight back to Helen's.
    Obvi met @HJ, obvi discussed obsession with @list.
  2. Got down with the Rosé Wall, not knowing the magnitude of meat that was about to hit us.
    Yup, there's a wall of rosé.
  3. Ordered the peach and burrata salad, the meatballs, and the White Lightning pizza.
    Because y'all told me to cc @Suzanne @hillarykerr @sophia @Goldie @carolinek @sashaspielberg. And I trust you.
  4. Watched agog as the meatballs arrived on other people's tables. The toasty olive oily garlicky crumb on that bread! The sauce! The ricotta! Holy mother of god.
    My friend actually gasped.
  5. Started with peach and burrata, gently commingled with mint and the brightest, lightest yellow tomatoes and olive oil.
    If summer were a taste, this is it.
  6. THEN THE MEATBALLS AND THE PIZZA ARRIVED. But I couldn't pay attention because THE MEATBALLS.
    EVERYTHING ABOUT THE MEATBALLS.
  7. Ok but you guys, here's the thing: I don't really eat meatballs. Like, I don't have anything against them, but they always seemed unappealing to me.
    Oh and also I was essentially a vegetarian (or vegan) for the first 28 years of my life. So these might be the first meatballs I've ever had.
  8. BUT I WENT IN HARD ON THE MEATBALLS.
    DRAKE AND KANYE AND JAY-Z AND LUPE FIASCO AND THE MEATBALLS. SEX AND GARLIC AND THE MEATBALLS. FUCK. THESE MEATBALLS.
  9. I think I ate some pizza?
    But did I mention the meatballs?
  10. Because then we mothereffing remixed the meatballs. When the garlic bread was gone, we started stuffing the meatballs and ricotta and sauce between pizza crust pieces.
    WE WERE LIKE WILD ANIMALS FOR THE MEATBALLS.
  11. Then we went after the remaining burrata. With the meatballs.
    What do you think we are, born in a barn or something?
  12. And when it was all over, Jay-Z and Kanye dropped beats as we ate the final, succulent white peaches. There was nothing left.
    Except the memory of the meatballs.