THINGS I HAVE DONE IN THE THROES OF ILLNESS

I've been sick for 11 days. It was one thing while I was traveling and then I came home and it morphed into a beast with infinite heads. Here's what I did in the last 24 hours, whilst battling a 100° fever.
  1. Watch an entire season of Great British Baking Show
    I love it and all, but why so much sponge cake? Good lord, people.
  2. Take a business call
    BOY WAS THAT A BAD IDEA!
  3. Cry
    I always cry when I'm sick and wish I had a mom to take care of me (or just a mom at all).
  4. Eat leftover pho
    Thank god for pho.
  5. Listen to the episode of RadioLab on Elements
    Discover that suicide and felony rates are up to 30% lower in towns with more lithium in the water. 😳
  6. Drink at least a gallon of water
    It's terrifying how much water I drank.
  7. Take my temperature a thousand times
    I didn't want to die.
  8. Text @RebeccaWalker a million times
    After she came over, braving the infirmary that is my home ❤️❤️❤️.
  9. Sanitize my car key with rubbing alcohol
    So @Suzanne could move my car so I wouldn't get a ticket. Life saver ❤️.
  10. Smear lavender essential oil all over myself
    In a weak approximation of WMMWD (what my mom would do).
  11. Run out of Kleenex
    Fun times.
  12. Drink all the drinks
    Coconut aloe juice, apple cider vinegar limeade, turmeric spiced almond milk, etc. Don't think there's not a kale lemon Kevita and another coconut aloe juice in the fridge.
  13. Text @brookielyons when she wrote to see if I was alive
    She provided the sage wisdom to "Go in the tub and bathe your armpits and groin area with cool water. The major arterial pathways." And then she gave me a Louise Hay affirmation for transforming the burning hell of fever into cool rivers of peace. Jk Louise didn't mention hell. Thank you, Brookie ❤️.
  14. Repeatedly mutter to myself, "You can do it, Lily" any time I get out of bed so I won't collapse somewhere
    I found this both psychotically funny and deeply pathetic, but it WORKED. I actually was able to get myself water.
  15. Moisturize my nose/nostrils
    With an alternating blend of coconut oil and comfrey salve. Gotta keep that shit fresh.
  16. Watch "Two Fat Ladies" making savory gentlemen's delights
    Aka the best thing I've seen in a really long time. Must. Watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ4YMVGgsMU
  17. Sleep
    'Cause fuck if I'm moving.