THINGS MEN SAY ON TINDER THAT MAKE ME EXCEEDINGLY NERVOUS

I looked at Tinder last night for the first time in about seven months. 😳😳😳
  1. "I love white girls!"
    Excuse me?
  2. "I can handle the level of commitment Tinder requires."
    Which is...what exactly?
  3. "Looking for a good little girl."
    Yah, no.
  4. "Originally from Milwaukee. Lived in the desert for too long after that."
    WHAT DOES IT MEAN???
  5. "Step out of your comfort zone and meet an awesome and interesting guy..."
    WHY DO I HAVE TO STEP OUT MY COMFORT ZONE?
  6. "Gives great hugs and kisses."
    I think we already have boundary issues.
  7. "Swipe right if girth matters. (It's big, thick and beautiful)."
    Uhhhh, no thanks?
  8. "Hey Everyone! Match with me to get my new album True Colors for an exclusive price of $3.99!"
    Wait, is Tinder something else now?
  9. "I am on tinder to find great sex, a girlfriend, or a wife, networking, or clients to personal train."
    It's like, for everything?
  10. "No web cam girls, please."
    Apparently not for that, though.
  11. "Smut Peddler Feline Enthusiast Hypomanic "
    Though maybe for this guy? Ps is hypomania hot right now?
  12. "I am a 6'3" smart ass left handed former longhair."
    You're a former longhair?????
  13. "If you don't expect to much from me, you might not be let down."
    Such a Romeo with the emo '90s lyrics.
  14. "MR WRONG LOOKING FOR MISSES RIGHT 👉👌"
    Those emojis really say it all.
  15. "6'4 and looking for my next future divorce."
    YOU'VE GOT IT COME AND GET IT.
  16. 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳