Top 5 comedians who make me laugh right now

Ask me in a month and it might be different.
  1. 5. Jerry Seinfeld
    "What is the deal with [insert everyday object]?!"
  2. 4. Ricky Gervais
    "'In the beginning, God created the heaven and the Earth.' Doesn’t go into detail. He's like, 'Just trust me, I did.'"
  3. 3. George Carlin
    "Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?"
  4. 2. Louis C. K.
    "You can figure out how bad a person you are by how soon after September 11th you masturbated, like how long you waited... and for me it was between the two buildings going down..."
  5. 1. Bill Burr
    "You're a kid, your whole life is awesome. It's awesome, right? You had no money, no ID, no cell phone, no nothing, no keys to the house. You just ran outside into the woods. You weren't scared of nothing. I challenge you to do that as an adult. All your IDs, all your credit cards - just run out of the house with no phone, turn the corner where you can't see your house, and not have a full on panic attack."