DONALD TRUMP, YOU GUYS

  1. I grew up in the 80s
  2. And if you had told me that donald trump would be running for president in 2016 and leading the polls in January of THE YEAR OF AN ACTUAL ELECTION
  3. I would have said "the crazy asshole with the hair?"
  4. Which is still a pretty apt description
  5. But, like, take a step back
  6. And you realize that we're fully 100% through the looking glass
  7. And facts are irrelevant
  8. And being racist and sexist and a jerk at all times is pretty much fine
  9. And you can't really talk about "the bar being lowered"
  10. Because wherever that metaphor came from, it wasn't prepared for donald trump
  11. And whatever metaphor you need now involves the bar being napalmed into next week while being broken into a thousand pieces and inserted into the earth to bear the fruit of a thousand other worse bars that will steal your kids' lunch money and tell them it's their fault for being losers
  12. If you follow me
  13. All of which is just to say
  14. donald trump
  15. Seriously.