Astrological signs according to moi

Ever since high school I have always been obsessed with astrology. An old friend (A cancer) ignited my interest and now I feel like there's no going back.
  1. Aries
    Not a lot of Aries in my life. Girls Aries I have known are selfish & smart. They're incredibly bright, and live for sex. They make embarrassing, fb status updates aka humble brags about their life. I once had a crush on an Aries guy who turned out to be gay. The biggest turn on in an Aries is that they're driven and don't give a shit about what other ppl think. Aries and Aquarius's are compatible though. Fun fact, the last person I slept with was an Aries, sorry *is* an Aries, as he's not dead.
  2. Taurus
    Oh boy. My little sis is a Taurus and what I can tell you about them is that they're fierce af. They're stubborn as hell though and unnecessarily dramatic. They have a vision and if they're motivated enough will succeed at their artistic pursuits. Think of the most successful, artistic ppl you know. Probs a Taurus. Aka Lena Dunham, Tina Fey, Jemima Kirke, all Taurus's. They are out there making art, being successful, and not letting ppl walk all over them. They're determined too.
  3. Gemini
    Oh Gemini's. Not a lot of Gemini's in my life either. These guys are cray af. Wish I was kidding tbh. Donald Trump, Kenye West and Azealia Banks all twinsie signs. They change their minds constantly. They have the ability to be charming and witty one moment and the next thing you know, they're cranky and not in the mood to be pleasant. I wish I knew more 💎 's b/c they are my fellow air signs and I feel like they would appreciate the fact that Aquarius's tolerate their craziness.
  4. Cancer
    You guys, I love cancer's. I think they're my soulmates. I can't explain it. There is something about their warm personality that I feel a deep connection with. They are also humble, despite being very successful. They have a strong emotional intelligence and are easy to talk to, but moody af. They get irritated, so much so that they can be emotionally abusive. Romantically they are very thirsty though. But ppl fall in love w/ them. Aquarius's and cancers aren't compatible though.
  5. Leo
    Like Gemini's, Leo's are their own special brand of cray. They love having sex and love talking about their sexual pursuits. They are the most fun though. They light up any room and have that rare ability that makes everyone fall in love them. They are hot, completely full of themselves and don't give a shit about taking about you behind your back. Leo guy's are pretty cocky. You'll be throwing a party and a Leo will sneak up to your room, disrobe and wait until midnight, like sexual Cinderella.
  6. Virgo
    I really don't know that many Virgos. I think it's b/c I'm an Aquarius, aka I live on my own, weird little planet and Virgos live in a town somewhere called "normalville". Idk maybe that's judgemental? Every Virgo I know is so different from one another. Every Virgo dude is a bit of a disciplinarian. They put you in your place if need be. I never click with Virgos. I think it's b/c they're thirsty and conventional. A little bit like cancers but more dull. I think they're smart, but are dicks.
  7. Libra
    Legit love libra's. Every person I know and treasure is a libra. They love me and the feeling is mutual. I love them b/c they're always down to try new things and are easy going. They are well read and know as much about pop culture as your average Aquarius (who thinks they're the most well read on pop culture). Aquarius and libra's have an easy going relationship. Libras are highly into themselves and love to brag. They love material things, but always want to share whatever they have w/ u.
  8. Scorpio
    Highly emotional and very sneaky. Lazy and everything in the world is about them. Will criticize you to your face. A sexual psychopath that will probably cheat. They remember things about you and hold it against you in the future. A friend of mine is a Scorpio and once admitted to being on a date with someone she didn't like, she pretended she had to go to the bathroom and never returned. They are bright and brilliant though and when they're in a good mood, they will help you to the moon.
  9. Sagittarius
    Oh sagi's. What can I say about this sign that hasn't already been said. They have the uncanny ability to talk to anyone in the world about anything under the sun. They're smart af, but so full of themselves, it's unbelievable. They care deeply about you, and are lovers of life and love travelling. They're bold and like Leo's and cancer's, ppl fall in love w/ them. I will always have a connection w/ a sagi. Whether it is my roomie or a past romance. They are always dtf, and never refuse a dare.
  10. Capricorn
    Ew. No jk. Both of my aunt's are/was a Capricorn. Highly intelligent. Goal oriented. Self motivated. Loves checking things off the to do lists. Analytical and very critical of your life choices. Has a bit of superiority complex if you ask me. Takes care of their things and are amazing cooks & bakers. Into themselves and is judgemental about you to your face. Loves fine dining and highly opinionated. If you make a Capricorn laugh, I think they respect you more. They love wit and intelligent ppl
  11. Pisces
    I love Pisces people. They are the most giving of all signs. They are highly creative people and are quite accomplished. They are bold when it comes to their creative work. They also love being in a vegetative state & lazy af. They love spending money on ppl they care about, but will sometimes go into accidental credit card debt. They like looking good, and are humanitarians and care about all ppl and animals. Especially dogs. They are left leaning and support causes like dog rescues.
  12. Aquarius
    I'm an Aquarius as I mentioned 100 times. At my worst I'm Howard Hughes & at my best I'm Oprah, in the bath, reading a book. Aquarians are different and literally the most accepting tolerant sign there is. They have that ability to be friends with everyone, but also love their solitude. One time I was in my room for 3 days straight, just watching skins. When I came out, all my roomies judged me, but I bet if there was another Aquarius there, they would be like "meh that's chill".