Getting a Brazilian is both hopeful & masochistic at the same time. Whether you're going on vacay or dating someone new, getting a Brazilian is sometimes unavoidable. We've all been there (I assume). Here is my thought process as I pretend this is a normal thing to do.
  1. Stage 1: Dread
    I booked this weeks ago, I'm at the spa. Let's get this over with.
  2. Stage 2: Distract yourself with the Big Bang Theory
    They played the Big Bang theory on Netflix. Do I actually enjoy watching that show? No. But the bright colours that the characters wore, soothed me, as I pretended to be invested in kaley Cuzco or whatever her name is. Did Kaley Cuzco ever get a Brazilian? I'm sure she got all her hair removed via laser surgery and never has to think about hot wax again. Wonder why you never got laser hair removal. Then remember you did once, for your cowlick & it hurt. You're a 😿when it comes to 😿pain.ironic
  3. Stage 3: Bond w/ your aesthetician
    Remember, they've seen it all. Not everyone is for this, but I figure if they're seeing everything, you might as well get to know them on a personal level as well. Distract me with your dating history. Let's exchange horror stories.
  4. Stage 4: I'm a feminist. Is this necessary?
    Have an inner dialogue with yourself about women in society and how we're viewed, based on our looks. Did Gloria Steinem ever get a Brazilian? I wonder. 🤔Remind yourself to read more about Gloria Steinem.
  5. Stage 5: You're done, bitch
    Only 20 mins of hyperventilating, oversharing,pretending to give a shit about The Big Bang theory & wondering if this Brazilian matters in the grand scheme of things.