A DAY IN THE LIFE WITH PMS
i enjoy being a girl just as much as peggy lee but one day a month i devolve into a puddle of self-pity and doubt.
- •eat chocolate covered banana bites for breakfast because that's what society tells me my body wants. and because chocolate.
- •go on a hike alone because we're all just wandering through this world alone, y'know?
- •pass an old couple hiking hand-in-hand and cry behind my sunglasses.
- •look into my closet and wonder what the fuck ever possessed me to buy any of these garbage clothes.
- •fall into intagram k-hole and emerge with new life plan to move to topanga canyon and stop wearing makeup.
- •spend $450 on glorified nightgowns from freepeople.com for my new life in topanga canyon.
- •write at a coffee shop until radiohead's "creep" comes on. cry in bathroom because he's right, "what the hell am i doing here?" and because i'm afraid i'll never write anything as good as the "social network" trailer.
- •run into a friend doing a cleanse. research cleanses but abandon the idea because there's no good time not to drink.
- •cry thinking back on a handwritten "lost dog" flyer i saw on hillhurst.
- •reread sexts with guy who's not the one. mull the eternal questions: "if i'm too good for him then why i aren't i with him?"
- •text that guy anyway because he never fails to makes me feel beautiful. but then decline his invitation for a nightcap, he can't see me like this. i look like shrek.
- •instead cuddle up to my cat. worry i'll never feel this unconditional love for someone with opposable thumbs.
- •fall asleep feeling fat, ugly, talentless, lonely, lost and guilty about the $450 i spent on freepeople.com for my new life in topanga canyon.
- •wake up 7 hours later totally fine. repeat in 28 days.