DENTAL FLOSS ALTERNATIVES
a how-to for getting that thing out of your teeth.
- •toothpicknot every restaurant has them, but these tiny twigs can be a saving grace when they're sharp enough. RISK: your toothpick splits and now you have food and a splinter in your teeth.
- •fingernailit's usually the first option but rarely the most successful unless you have lana del rey talons. RISK: you bite off some of your nail polish and now you have food and nail polish in your teeth.
- •paperbusiness cards tend to be too thick but if you can get your hands on the corner of a paper table cloth, it's worth a shot. RISK: you get a paper cut on your gums.
- •bobby pinif you've got a prom up-do, you're in great shape. just remember to bite off the protective plastic end first. RISK: one wrong move and now you've got food and blood in your teeth.
- •earringif you've got pierced ears, the post of an earring is an option at the ready. RISK: you don't clean your earrings often and now you have ear gunk and food in your teeth.
- •hairyou're gonna need to bite/pull off enough hairs to twist into a hair rope (thickness may vary). RISK: it gets stuck and now you have food and a sprig of hair stuck in your teeth.
- •tamponyou know how tampon strings are made up of a bunch of smaller tampon strings? unravel them and you've got yourself a whole gaggle of natural floss. RISK: someone sees you flossing with a tampon string.
- •five dollar billyou're gonna wanna fold it in half length-wise. then put it in your wallet, drive to riteaid and buy tampons. see above.