GLIMPSE AT A GELFAND SEDER

  1. a loud discussion of who's got hearing aids and who needs them to hear the british guy on "elementary" better.
  2. "we should close the window so the neighbors don't call the cops."
    my family can be a bit loud.
  3. because we're LA jews, the haggadahs weren't stapled together, but held together with brads.
  4. at the mention of parsley, my dad and aunt simultaneously broke into song: "...sage, rosemary and thyme." 🎶
  5. the smoke alarm went off.
  6. three generations of gelfand women agreed paul newman was hot in "exodus."
    trick question, paul newman was hot in everything (even that jar of marinara).
  7. my mom trash-talked my cousin's brisket when she was in the kitchen.
  8. our haggadah mispelled flee as flea.
    haggadah autocorrect after all those plagues?
  9. my brother and cousin went out to walk the dog but forgot the dog and came back stoned.
  10. the great spoon-stuck-in-the-horseradish-jar debacle of 2015.
  11. someone set a cake in front of my dad and he said, "what are the rest of you having?"
    dictionary definition of a dad joke.