HORRIFYING THINGS MY FIRST BOYFRIEND POSTS ON FACEBOOK

threw up in my mouth imagining the what-if-we-never-broke-up life that might've been since my first boyfriend became THIS guy:
  1. "beyond the fun and funny, facebook really is a control mechanism of the nsa, which has been proven and well documented."
  2. "the flu shot is a fraud."
  3. "bill nye the science guy has a new show that explains the crazy shit that goes into our food and the environmental damages it causes... no bullshit al gore 'global warming' nonsense, but real science."
  4. "i'm a little shocked that my feed is blowing up with support for gay marriage and people changing their profile pics to that pink '=' symbol. if everyone paid nearly as much attention to world events as they do gay marriage then the world wouldn't be such a fucked up place."
  5. "watching the hunger games sequel... isn't it funny how it becomes that much closer to a reality every year. it's seriously time for an uprising."
  6. "the best gun control is no gun control.. and if you don't understand that, maybe i'll come shoot you...then you can call 911 with your last dying breath, and then the cops will come long after i'm gone and shoot your dog lol."
  7. "an all female ghostbusters remake? ummm... lame."