TOP 10 AFFLICTIONS TREATED AT THE AMERICAN GIRL DOLL HOSPITAL (FOR WEEK ENDING OCT. 11, 2015)

  1. 1.
    Food allergies: EpiPen (sold with the Allergy-Free lunch set, $28).
  2. 2.
    Infection from ear piercing (done at mall or at home).
  3. 3.
    Reattachment of limbs.
  4. 4.
    Orthodontics: retainer fitting and headgear readjustment (for use with the "Healthy Smiles" set, $14).
  5. 5.
    Astigmatism: remedied with eyeglasses (available in a variety of colors, including turquoise, chocolate (backordered) and tortoise shell, $10/pair).
  6. 6.
    Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy: frequently presents as child asking for doll crutches and wheelchair (sold separately) and accompanying "Feel Better" Kit (with cast and walking boot, $30) as birthday or holiday gift.
  7. 7.
    Vaccinations including HPV (for when she's getting a little "too chummy" with G.I. Joe), flu shot, and measles vaccine (optional).
  8. 8.
    Replacement of hearing aid batteries.
  9. 9.
    Alopecia Areata: diagnosed through blood tests.
  10. 10.
    Full body replacement: recommended when arm jiggle, muffin top, and turkey neck impact quality of life.